Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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