ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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