God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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