At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
