I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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