FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
