is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
