I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize