I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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