Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
