Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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