ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
