Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize