This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
