last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
