ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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