i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize