I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
