I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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