just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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