i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
