I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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