Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
