I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
