I cockslap morals
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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