I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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