Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize