he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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