She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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