Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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