i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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