were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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