lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
