you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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