I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
