dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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