Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
