Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
