hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
