i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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