they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
