Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
