I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
