Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
