I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
