Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize