fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
