At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
