This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
