just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
