That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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