Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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