I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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