I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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