If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
