if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
