We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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