I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
