I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
