Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
