its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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