I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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